ObiTobi
by Lil' DeiDei
Summary: Obito meets his team at Ichiraku's, and, through a series of events that can only occur with Obito around, he explains who he REALLY is...Tobi of the Akatsuki! Now, Obito must convince his sensei to join Akatsuki, too. Parodies old Akatsuki theories.
1. ObiTobi Part I

The following story is brought to you by Jill's strange and slightly demented mind. The ideas within are all her own, though the characters are owned by Masashi Kishimoto.

This story is a result of finding many fanfics and fanvids where Obito is really Tobi and Tobi is really Obito. How that theory ever developed is beyond me, but here is my take on it anyway.

_Dedicated to Howard, who shares his birthday today with Sakura. Happy Birthday!_

* * *

**ObiTobi**

Obito walked through Konoha, searching for his team. He had just finished setting up the Best Prank Ever, and now he needed someone to try it on.

Spotting his sensei's familiar yellow hair in the ramen stand, Obito walked up and said, "Hi."

Minato turned, about to greet his student when he noticed something odd. "Um, Obito," he began slowly, "why are you wearing an orange mask?"

Obito reached up and felt his face. "Mask? Huh? Oh..." Obito grinned sheepishly, but no one could tell, thanks to the swirly orange mask he was wearing. "Sorry. I must have forgotten to take it off."

"Right," Minato said. "But why are you even wearing it in the first place?" he asked his student.

Obito looked at him. "Why else would I wear a mask? To conceal my identity!"

"From what? We all know you," the blonde pointed out.

"That's true," Obito nodded. "But some people don't, and I don't want them to find out who I am." As if suspicious of people watching him even now, Obito glanced cautiously around.

"OK," Minato said, unsure what else to say.

"Plus it's orange. I like orange," Obito stated.

Just then, Rin and Kakashi walked up and asked the obvious question. "Why are you wearing a mask, Obito?" Rin asked as Kakashi stared at him.

"Shh!" he whispered furtively. "They may be listening in!"

"...Who may be listening in?" Rin asked.

"My...minions," Obito said seriously.

"...What are you _talking_ about?" Minato said.

Obito looked around once more, before leaning in to whisper to his team. "I am really the leader of a secret criminal organization, planning to wipe out all the shinobi villages and somehow use the moon to create peace!"

The three sweat-dropped.

"Obito," Rin said finally, "if this is some kind of elaborate prank to get attention or win my affection, it's not working."

"And it's really lame," Kakashi added.

Obito glared at them. "It is _not_ a prank," he informed them. "I really _am_ the leader of a criminal organization. It's purposely set up so that everyone thinks I'm an idiot, and that this other guy is the leader, but I really am the one pulling the strings!"

The three stared at him doubtfully.

Finally, Kakashi spoke. "Obito, you really _are_ an idiot. Especially if you think we'll believe that," he said, turning away and preparing to go to the training grounds.

Minato looked between his two students, unsure what to say.

"Fine. You don't have to believe me. But when my organization takes over the world and creates peace by being the only place for people to be able to hire ninja from, you'll be sorry you laughed at me," Obito said to Kakashi.

Kakashi turned around. "How on earth would taking over the world create peace? And what point would there be to wiping out the ninja villages and becoming the only shinobi provider if you _could_ create world peace?" Kakashi asked.

Obito's grin grew. "Ow. I have to remember not to smile that wide. This mask is restrictive," he said absently.

"I asked you a question," Kakashi reminded him as Minato and Rin stared at the two.

"Right," Obito said. "And I'm so happy you asked me that." He paused dramatically. "Eliminating the other villages means my organization gets to control what happens between each village and country. We get to determine if there will be wars and how they will turn out."

Kakashi narrowed his eyes. "Are you saying that this current war is your fault?" he asked.

Minato knew where this conversation was going. He decided to interject a quick statement before Kakashi and Obito attempted to kill one another. "He did say that they were 'trying' to take over the world, Kakashi. I think it's safe to say this war isn't their fault."

"Sure it isn't," Kakashi muttered.

Obito grinned at him. "Not this time, no." He paused for a second. "We aren't actually a very big organization yet," he confided. "Most of our members are still in diapers."

"...That's...interesting," Minato said uncertainly.

"So just what is the name of this organization?" Kakashi asked tersely, crossing his arms over his chest.

"The Akatsuki," Obito proclaimed proudly.

"'The Akatsuki'?" Rin repeated.

"That's lame," Kakashi said dismissively.

"Akatsuki? That means 'dawn'," Minato said.

"I know that," Obito told him. "I did, after all, name the organization."

"Why did you choose that name?" Minato asked.

"I like sunrise," Obito said simply. "It's got orange in it."

"What is it with you and orange?" Minato asked him, silently thinking it was a color any sane ninja would avoid like the plague.

Obito shrugged.

"Let me get this straight," Rin said suddenly. "Obito is the leader of an organization called 'Dawn', and plans to take over the world while acting like an idiot?"

"Well, it's actually called Akatsuki, but, basically, you got it right," Obito told her.

"You're not even going to deny the 'idiot' part?" Kakashi questioned.

Obito glanced at him. "No. Because that is a part of the plan. Who would suspect a criminal organization to have such a person as a member?" he asked rhetorically.

"Not to mention leader," Minato said thoughtfully.

"Who would have thought the Uchiha's could have produced such a moron?" Kakashi mumbled.

"I heard that," Obito told him.

"So what are you called in this organization?" asked Rin. "Leader-sama?"

Obito shook his head. "No. I try to blend in as one of the members," he reminded her. "They call me 'Tobi'."

"Tobi? Why Tobi?" Minato asked.

Obito shrugged again. "It has the same letters as my real name, which makes it easy to remember."

"You are seriously lazy," Kakahi said.

Obito merely smiled. "Besides," he added, "no one would think a guy named Tobi—"

"Is the leader of a criminal organization," Rin cut him off. "We know, we know."

Minato looked at his pupil thoughtfully. "Why would you tell us all this, though?" he asked.

"You asked about my mask," Obito pointed out. "I couldn't just ignore your question."

"You're going to take over the world and eliminate the shinobi villages, but you couldn't just lie about your mask?" asked Kakashi.

"Well, no. Lying is bad."

Minato, Rin, and Kakashi exchanged glances. Finally, Rin spoke up. "Obito, have you been eating soldier pills again?"

"No," Obito said, glaring at her slightly. "Why is it you always think I've eaten soldier pills when I do something stupid?"

The three gave him a look. "You aren't serious, are you?" Rin asked him.

"Hey, it was one time. Can't you just let it go already?"

"Obito," Minato said. "You knocked down a whole forest singlehandedly after eating three of those things," he reminded his student.

Obito looked sheepish, rubbing the back of his head with one hand. "It _was_ an accident," he reminded them. "Besides, I can be stupid without the help of pills."

"...That statement certainly proves that," Minato agreed.

"Obito, seriously, if you overdose on those things, it can be really dangerous," Rin said.

"I know. I haven't taken any since the forest thing."

Rin looked skeptical.

"Honest!" Obito said.

"If you're not on soldier pills, then where did you get this crazy idea from?" Rin demanded.

"It's not a 'crazy idea'; it's the truth!"

"Sure it is," Kakashi said, mirroring Rin's disbelieving attitude.

Obito glared at him. "Listen, you!" he shouted. "I am the leader of a criminal organization known as the Akatsuki, and I will take over the world using the moon! And I'm immortal!" he added.

"How nice for you," a voice said dryly.

Team Minato all turned to see four ANBU behind them.

"How long have you been there?" Rin asked them.

"Long enough to hear your friend 'Tobi' confess," the sarcastic ANBU replied. "We're going to have to apprehend you now, Tobi," he said to Obito. "For belonging to a criminal organization and planning the annihilation of the Five Elemental Villages."

"Aw, crap," ObiTobi replied.

Kakashi, Rin, and Minato watched as the ANBU took the boy/criminal mastermind away.

"That was strange," Minato said.

"Now I'm beginning to wonder if WE are the ones on soldier pills," Rin agreed.

"Can we go train now?" Kakashi asked, not paying any attention to the sounds of his teammate being dragged toward the Hokage Tower for questioning.

"Sure," Minato said. And the three remaining members of Team Minato went off to train while the fourth had to explain what, exactly, he had been talking about when he said he was going to take over the world using the moon.

He never got to show anyone his Best Ever Prank.


	2. ObiTobi Part II

Jill will write this story,

Jill will sing a song.

Kishimoto owns _Naruto_,

Hence it's all gone wrong.

Just thought I'd mix up the way I do things. =)

The problem with planning a story as a one-shot, and then writing another chapter at a much later point, is that the writing style is completely different. This will still make sense, but I don't think it has the fast-pace/short-lined style as Part I of ObiTobi did. It was fun to write, though. =)

**ObiTobi—Part II**

Of course, it was only a short while later that Obito was sadly and tragically crushed by a giant boulder falling on him during the Battle at Kannabi Bridge.

His teammates went on to finish the mission without him, returning to a peaceful Konoha a week later. Then Minato was chosen as Hokage, and had about a year to do Hokage stuff before the Kyuubi no Yoko attacked.

"Crap," Minato said as he stood on Gamabunta's head. "That thing is _furry_."

Gamabunta nodded, causing the Yondaime Hokage to bob awkwardly with him. "Yeah," the big toad agreed.

"Could you stop doing that? You're making me sick," Minato asked politely.

Gamabunta huffed a breath of air.

"Hey," the Kyuubi said. "Are we not supposed to be fighting here?"

"Yes, sorry," Minato apologized. "Just let me set something up first."

The Kyuubi seemed to consider this, tilting his giant head to the side, before he nodded. "Okay."

Rin and Kakashi, watching from the sidelines where they were preparing to help attack when needed, stared at their sensei in awe. "Minato-sensei is so cool!" Rin gushed.

"And the Kyuubi is kind of dumb," Kakashi added.

Rin nodded. "Yeah…"

Just then, Jiraiya came bounding from the hospital, a white bundle in his arms. "Hey, Minato-gaki," he called.

Minato turned slightly, looking irritated at being called "Minato-brat" but Jiraiya ignored him for many reasons. One, Jiraiya is one of the Three Legendary Sannin. He can say what he wants. Two, Minato is his student, so Jiraiya's supposed to insult him. And, three, Jiraiya couldn't actually decipher Minato's "annoyed" look from his "what a nasty smell" look, and considering the Kyuubi and Minato's students were around, it really could have been either.

"Hey, Jiraiya-sensei," Minato replied. "Have you got Naruto-kun with you?"

Jiraiya nodded, holding the white bundle, which Kakashi and Rin could now see was a blonde baby, out to Minato.

"I'm sorry, Naruto-kun," Minato said to his son.

"Hey, wait," Rin interrupted, climbing up Gamabunta inelegantly, Kakashi following with much more grace. "Why does he already have whisker marks?"

Minato looked at his baby and frowned. "That's odd. It must be from Kushina's side of the family."

Hyuuga Hizashi, who was nearby helping the fight, muttered cryptically, "Or perhaps little Naruto-kun was fated to have this job from his very birth…"

"…Yeah…" Rin, Kakashi, Minato, and Jiraiya said together.

"Ahem," Kyuubi said. "I do hate to be rude about this, but I am afraid I really must get on if I want to cause mayhem and destruction in your noble village by mid-dawn."

"Wow," Rin said, staring at the vast beast in shock. "You have the weirdest speech I have ever heard from an animal, and considering the Inuzuka clan's dogs can sometimes talk, that's saying something."

Kyuubi frowned at her. "Whatever do you mean?" he asked.

"You used the word 'noble' in a sentence. You almost sound like you're trying to talk in Old English," Rin informed him.

"Oh. I'll have to work on that. I was going for European-English," Kyuubi said.

"You mean you're acting?" Kakashi asked, eyes (his Sharingan was revealed) narrowed.

Kyuubi started nodding, but then quickly stopped. "No, no! I'm not acting. I'm here to kill you. Rawr."

The shinobi sweatdropped. "…Yeah, I'm ready to begin," Minato said, holding his hands in the last seal for some jutsu, while Jiraiya carefully held Naruto out in front of him.

Kyuubi nodded. "Okay. Prepare yourselves," he said, failing completely at sounding menacing.

"He almost sounds regretful," Rin noted.

Kakashi snorted. "Please, he's only regretting not starting earlier and eating all of us faster."

Rin was about to respond, but then Kyuubi disappeared, Naruto started to cry, Minato said something and flopped forward, Hyuuga Hizashi activated his Byakugan and stared at Naruto in a way that made everyone uncomfortable, and Kakashi blinked. "Well, shit," he said. "That was… fast."

Rin nodded. "Weren't lots of people supposed to die in this fight?"

Jiraiya hopped off Gamabunta's head, Naruto tucked close to his chest, and headed towards the Hokage Tower. Not knowing what else to do, the students of the Yondaime Hokage followed.

The other shinobi began gathering their dead comrades, and Gamabunta dispelled himself.

No one saw the cloaked man in the orange mask come forth from the shadows and steal Namikaze Minato's body away.

**LINE BREAK**

When Minato woke up, he registered two thoughts. The first was, _How the hell am I awake_? The second was, _Dagnammit, I'm sore. Which is odd, because I didn't actually fight._ He then came to this conclusion: _The Shinigami has one hell of a boney arm._

Sitting blearily up on the funny mattress he was lying on in what could only be the basement of some evil organization's headquarters, Minato looked around with interest.

"Hi, there," said a very familiar voice.

Minato turned his head the other way and experienced one of those odd sinking sensations in his stomach that he'd always read about, but never personally felt—until now. Let's just say it made him suddenly need to use the toilet.

"So, how was your battle of epic awesomeness with my friend Kyuubi?" the cheery voice continued, one red Sharingan eye ablaze, though not literally as this particular Sharingan-wielder does not have the Amaterasu.

"Um…" Minato replied. "What are you doing here, Obito?" he asked more calmly than he felt.

Obito smiled beneath the ugly orange mask he had shown his teammates a year ago. "What do you _think_ I'm doing here, Minato-sensei?" he asked cheekily. "This is my evil organization, the Akatsuki! Welcome to our headquarters!" he cheered.

Minato blinked. _Well, I was right about where I was, although I didn't get the organization… still…_ "I thought most of your members were in diapers."

Obito frowned, although the mask was still in the way. "That's true…" he answered slowly. "But they'll come here soon. Especially now that I've got you here!"

"What do I have to do with anything?" Minato asked. "And why am I not dead? Because that technique I used to seal the Kyuubi in Naruto-kun definitely said on the instructions that it would kill me."

Obito gasped in horror. "You _sealed_ the Kyuubi? Nooo!"

Minato frowned, puzzled at this outburst. "What?"

Obito removed his mask for a second to reveal his scarred faced from the whole rock thing, and wiped his eye sadly. "I need him for my moon plan! And we have a go match planned next week!"

"You play go with the Kyuubi no Yoko?" Minato deadpanned. "The strongest of all the bijuu?"

Obito nodded. "Yeah! And I had a really good strategy so I could finally beat him this time!"

"Um… you play go with a beast, and you _lose_?"

Obito glowered at him. "Yes. But that's beside the point. He won't let me use my Mangekyou Sharingan, so it's really tricky!"

"When did you get the Mangekyou?" Minato asked, needing answers but trying to tackle each question one by one. He knew how his old student worked; he couldn't be overwhelmed and you had to be careful he didn't get distracted.

"I got it when Ritz died!" Obito said, now blowing his nose into a hanky sadly. The mask lay on the table behind him.

"Ritz?" Minato asked.

"Yeah! My dog when I was younger! He died when I was six!" Obito said.

"You got the Mangekyou when you were six?" Minato asked.

Obito nodded once more. "Mm-hmm."

"Before you even got normal Sharingan? How did that work?"

"Oh," Obito said, looking confused. A thoughtful frown graced his features. "I have no idea."

"Um… okay then."

Obito looked expectantly at Minato.

"What?" Minato asked.

"I'm going to show you around now! You can be the pseudo-leader of the Akatsuki, while people will know me as Tobi!" he cheered, placing the mask back on, and with it, a slightly dopier personality (although Minato was hard pressed to find the difference).

"Um, no offense, Obi—Tob—ObiTobi," Minato began. "But since I'm still alive, I'd really prefer to go back to Konoha, and carry out my duty as Hokage. Also, I have a responsibility as a father to Naruto, and I'd like to marry Kushina now that our son is born," Minato said.

Obito looked sadly back at his teacher. "Um, Minato-sensei… Kushina-chan is dead," he said.

"What?" Minato asked.

"She died in child birth."

"How do you know this?" Minato burst out.

"I was nearby Konoha…" Obito answered vaguely.

"Why?" Minato asked, eyes narrowed.

"Let's discuss this later," Obito said, cheerful once more. "For now… you've got to get situated as Akatsuki head. Here, put this on," he said, handing Minato what had to be the ugliest cloak he had ever seen.

"What is this?" he asked, looking at the red and black cloud-covered cloak in his hands with distaste.

"The Akatsuki cloaks!" Obito replied cheerfully. "Aren't they great?" he gushed.

_Figures he would like something like this_, Minato thought, frowning. He pulled the cloak over his head, nonetheless. "Where's my jacket?" Minato asked, thinking of his white flaming coat.

"I sent it out for dry cleaning," came Obito's response as he moved out of the room and down the hallway.

"You can send stuff for dry cleaning?" Minato asked, shocked.

"Yes," Obito said slowly. "You just put it outside the door and make your su—"

"No, I mean, you're a criminal, but they'll wash your clothes?"

"How else do you think criminals stay clean? Have spare copies?" Obito snorted. "Anyway, our mission as the Akatsuki is to capture the tailed beasts, start a world-wide war, but particularly obliterate Konoha, and then place a mass-genjutsu on everyone by reassembling the Ten-Tailed Beast and doing something or other with the moon."

"Wait, wait," Minato said. "I know about your moon plan, but what the heck is with destroying Konoha? We're both _from_ Konoha! _I'm _the _Hokage_!"

Obito waved his concerns away. "Yes, but my great grandfather times a lot has this grudge against Konoha, something about not recognizing the Uchiha properly, so I'm gonna avenge him."

"You don't even _know what the grudge is for?_" Minato fairly screeched.

Obito clamped his hands over his ears. "No, but who cares? I'm evil!" he said happily.

"…Yeah…" Minato said. "But what about capturing the bijuu?"

"Oh, yeah. We need them to use their power to make the Big Beastie and then put him on the moon and then make everyone like us. At least, I _think_ that's what we need to do. Madara-jiji's blue prints are a little vague."

"Madara?" Minato choked out.

"Yup. I found his scrolls in the Uchiha Vault. That's where I got the idea for the Akatsuki in the first place, although the name and uniform are my ideas," Obito said, looking immensely proud of himself. "Madara-ji's ideas were pretty old-fashioned," he confided to his former sensei.

"Um, yeah, but you do realize I just sealed one of the bijuu into my _son_?" Minato said, in what he considered to be a calm voice.

"Oh shit," Obito said.

"Yes," Minato agreed. "Oh shit."

"Um… so…" Obito began, nervously scratching his head. "When we extract the Kyuubi, um, Naruto-kun… well, he might not make it…"

Minato's eyes turned an ice cold blue and Obito felt the temperature drop as his teacher's anger leaked out of every pore on the man's body. "_What_?" he hissed angrily.

"Never mind, never mind," Obito said hastily. "We'll just get him last," he assured his teacher.

"If you had the Kyuubi in your control," Minato hissed out, "which I know you did because you play go with him and the Mangekyou can control bijuu, _why did you send it Konoha_?"

"It was an elaborate plan to get you to join me in the Akatsuki," Obito said nervously.

"You couldn't just ask?" Minato forced through clenched teeth.

"Oh," Obito said, sounding as though he was having an epiphany moment. "I never thought of that."

Minato's scream of rage could be heard all the way back to Konoha, where Rin and Kakashi paused in playing with baby Naruto.

"That sounds eerily like Sensei's 'Obito, you baka' scream," Rin said.

Kakashi merely nodded as Naruto drooled on his lap. "He's probably met the moron up in heaven, where Obito is sure to cause some kind of trouble."

Rin laughed. "Yeah," she said.

They remained unknowing of their teammate and teacher's plans to conquer the world, one tailed-beast at a time…

…as soon as the rest of the Akatsuki got out of their diapers, that is.


	3. ObiTobi Part III

Last chapter, finally. Takes place during the Pein Arc. Remember, some people also thought Minato was the Akatsuki leader before we knew about Pein.

Spoilery.

**ObiTobi-Part III-The Final Chapter**

Kakashi was dead.

Of this, he was certain, not least because Rin, who he hadn't seen in at least ten years, was waving at him and there was one of those glowing, bright lights he'd always been warned to stay away from in the distance.

He moved towards said light.

"Obito?!" he asked in shock as the figure by the light became more defined and Rin disappeared.

Obito grinned at him. "Who else?"

Kakashi shrugged slightly. "I was sort of expecting to meet my father, actually."

Obito frowned. "Your tousan? Why?"

The other shinobi's shoulders shifted slightly, uncomfortably. "I don't know. I guess I just assumed we'd finally get a chance to sort things out here… anyway, what are _you _doing here?"

Obito's expression changed as if he was only just realizing that he was, in fact, in Dead Kakashi's head. "I don't know. I'm not even dead," he said.

Kakashi frowned.

"I mean," Obito hastened to continue, recognizing that look on his teammate's face, "I sort of died. Um, shall I start at the beginning?" he asked, hoping to delay the inevitable outrage of the Copy Nin.

"Yes," Kakashi answered simply.

"Well, when I died, I wasn't dead, and instead, I left to start my own secret organization!"

"Is this about that Akatsuki Red Cloud Dawn thing?" Kakashi asked, eyes narrowed.

Obito sweat-dropped. Kakashi's memory was too good sometimes. "Yes, it is…"

Kakashi waited for him to carry on.

"Anyway, after I started the organization—which took a while, thanks to that whole diapers thing, if you remember that part of the conversation—I had to get some Tailed Beasts! They're part of the Moon thing, you know," he said conversationally.

"Some Tailed Beasts?" Kakashi quoted back at him, his tone an icy shard.

Obito nodded hesitantly.

"For the moon?"

Obito nodded again cautiously.

"Is this why your cloaked freaks are attacking my village?" Kakashi continued.

A third nod.

"And they're after Naruto?"

A tentative motion.

"And, Sensei, not Pein, is talking to him in a cave on the Hokage Mountains why, again?" Kakashi asked, voice still in the deadly monotone.

Obito released a nervous chuckle. "Well, he joined my group!" _How in the heck does he know anything about Pein?_ he thought.

Kakashi stared levelly at his former teammate. "I thought he was dead, too."

Obito was beginning to slowly back away from the fire. "Well, he should have been… but I really need him for my plan to succeed and we can extract Kyuubi from Naruto-chan easily and—Kakashi?" he squeaked fearfully as the silver-haired shinobi stood from the log he'd been perched on and loomed ominously over the fire pit.

The light cast strange shadows on the man's face, giving him a far more intimidating appearance than Obito was used to. It didn't help that Kakashi was older than when Obito had last seen him, either.

"Obito. If you attempt to remove _anything_ from Naruto, former teammate or not, I swear, I will hunt you down and force you to read _Icha Icha_."

Obito gasped in horror at the thought of viewing so much porn.

"As for Minato-sensei joining your organization and posing as Pein… did you consider the effect it will have on either his or Naruto's mental state when they have to kill each other?"

Obito's eyes widened. "Oh my god. No, I didn't," he said in an awed voice.

"And I take it you didn't think about the fact that you're destroying your home village, either?" Kakashi asked derisively.

"Actually," Obito said in one of those defensive tones that also implies you have given the matter quite a bit of thought and come to a knowledgeable conclusion, "I did think about that. We're destroying Konoha on purpose," he confided.

Kakashi looked at him. "Why in the name of the ramen kamis are you destroying the village?"

"I hate it," Obito answered simply.

"…You hate it? You hate the village? Konoha?" Kakashi asked, looking for confirmation of the incredulous thought.

Obito nodded.

"Why? You fought and trained to become a ninja of the Hidden Leaf, you battled enemy nin in a fantastic war and lost your life to rescue a comrade from the town, even at the risk of failing your mission. You literally gave everything to the village. How can you possibly hate it?" _You weren't even around when your clan died_, he added mentally.

"Well, you know, that's all very true and everything, but I just hate it," Obito said in a happy voice. "I mean, I had to give my life for them!"

Kakashi stared blankly at the other shinobi.

"Also, the village conspired to kill my clan!"

"What? No. Your crazy cousin killed them."

"No, no," Obito said. "I know that's the official story, but really, I went to Itachi and told him to wipe out the Uchiha so I could get vengeance, promised I would let Sasuke live and made him—Itachi—come join the Akatsuki, while the elders of the village did the same thing only they didn't want him to join Akatsuki—Danzou-san wanted all the Uchiha dead—they just wanted him to get rid of the threat to the peace of Konoha." He gulped in a big breath of air.

Kakashi blinked. "Wait. You're telling me Itachi killed the Uchiha on the village's orders? And you were there?"

"I was there as Madara, who wasn't yet Tobi. It was a different mask," he said, as if that explained everything while he held up his current orange one to demonstrate. "Anyway, I wanted to kill the Uchiha because they went against Madara's reign and the elders wanted to kill the Uchiha because we have the sharingan and are thus awesome."

Kakashi put his head in his hands. "I'm so confused right now," he confessed. "Itachi is a good guy. Who knew?"

Obito raised his hand. "Anyway, I hate Konoha because even though I wanted to get rid of my clan, the village did it first _and _they had the gall to use my cute little cousin to do so!" He looked positively outraged.

Kakashi glanced up from between his fingers. "I still don't get why you wanted your clan gone."

Obito paused, holding a finger up as if to track the point he was about to make. "I heard something from someone in the clan about how Madara was all mad cause they didn't listen to him and stuff so I just decided that since I was all for his Moon Plan already, I should kill the clan, too."

Once more, Kakashi gave his teammate a blank look.

Obito shrugged. "I dunno, it made sense at the time. You know, seemed like a good idea."

"I can't take this," Kakashi said, going back to his former comfort position.

Placing the orange mask back on his face, Obito stood from his log. "Welp, I have to get back now and cause some mayhem. I have to trust Pei—Sensei to finish up here."

Kakashi grunted something in response. "So, ObiTobi, what do I do? Since I'm dead and all."

Obito was silent for a moment before he looked at Kakashi with a hopeful grin. "You wanna join my organization?"

**AN:** I saw a spoiler today that just completely messes up this story. Just remember the original premise of this story: the ObiTobi theory is ridiculous, and that's all I have to say on the matter.

Thanks for reading! Please review!


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